Welcome to the Splice Farm

Hi!!!!!!!

2007-08-11T19:09:47Z

hi im retarded

its ovar

2006-11-01T10:52:58Z

bbl????????????

a day in the life

2006-11-01T05:55:19Z

step one: get welding flash and metal fume fever from working
step two: get fired from job
step three: take the long way home to pick up beer
step four: get card declined and check transaction history because i swore i had at least $20 left
01/11/06 FEES ACCOUNT FEES 26.10 DR 0.03 CR
step five: murder
step six: PROFIT

i gots the metal fume fever, baby!

2006-10-30T07:16:34Z

it hurts to breathe.

Product ID:ZINC - GALVANIZED STEEL
MSDS Date:01/01/1987
FSC:2540
NIIN:00-211-4450
MSDS Number: BPBJR

LD50 LC50 Mixture:TLV ZINC - NONE
Routes of Entry: Inhalation:YES Skin:NO Ingestion:NO
Reports of Carcinogenicity:NTP:NO IARC:NO OSHA:NO
Health Hazards Acute and Chronic:METAL FUME FEVER.
Effects of Overexposure:DRYNESS AND IRRITATION OF THE THROAT, COUGHING
AND SHORTNESS OF BREATH, PAINS IN MUSCLE AND JOINTS, SIMILIAR TO
INFLUENZA.
Medical Cond Aggravated by Exposure:NONE SPECIFIED BY MANUFACTURER.

an evening with an internet friend (prologue)

2006-10-20T11:08:22Z

Spacko says:
and there was no beer here so i'm drinking screaming nazi's
Spacko says:
or screaming nazis. i can't be bothered thinking up the proper use of the apostrophe there
Melanie says:
i have no idea what that is
Spacko says:
its jagermeister and peppermint schnapps
Melanie says:
oh ok
Spacko says:
they even each other out to a fantastic delight
Spacko says:
jagermeister is like having a nazi nurse give you nazi medicine for a bad cold
Spacko says:
and peppermint schnapps is like chewing up 5 strong mint tablets and having someone punch you in the mouth
Melanie says:
heh
Spacko says:
but put them together and it's like a girl dressed in an SS uniform nurse tenderly over your mouth while in a hospital
Spacko says:
then she punches you in the face
Spacko says:
CHATLOG POSTED

yes, i know

2006-10-16T10:21:30Z

i'm well aware of it

i got new booties

2006-10-12T09:50:36Z

and now the backs of my heels are two huge blisters. Thanks, Hard Yakka. More like FUCK YOUR FEET UP hurrrrrrrrr.

I searched for "spacko" on google. Who the fuck are all these cretins using my nickname? It's MINE. It's BEEN mine since I was in grade 3 (so 5 years now).

Image search turned up some of those bumper stickers I made from a bumper sticker generator, and while I was going through some old entries I found this one:

Well knowing you, you've already guessed wrong but, My point was - fuck the shite that we call life.... The honest ones love you for who you are and don't give a shit about what other crap the dis-honest are doing. Think, contimplate, respond and re-act. Most of all have fun darl.. talk to ya again soon as I can. Be Bad and have fun but most of all be smiling when your doing it

I have no idea who that was (they posted anonymously) and I can only hazard a guess, unfortunately.

Why can't there be more people like that?

Oh, I guess because there are too many people like this.

scathing political commentary

2006-10-09T10:04:01Z

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·······KOREAKOREAKOREA
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lolololololololololololololololololololololol

the selected musings of ddddddddddd

2006-10-08T14:26:04Z

[17:50] Soy Un Perdedor: oh
[17:50] Soy Un Perdedor: realady?
[17:50] Soy Un Perdedor: WHENRAISDOESITCOMEOT?
[17:50] Soy Un Perdedor: WHE?
[17:50] Soy Un Perdedor: WEHRSDVADSPNASITCOMOT?
[17:50] Soy Un Perdedor: CANRYAOOLZETELMLEW?
[17:50] Soy Un Perdedor: PLEAES?"
[17:50] Soy Un Perdedor: TELLMAEREWHWEN?
[17:50] Soy Un Perdedor: HAERHYAREONYOISITENOING TO ME?!
[17:50] Soy Un Perdedor: DOJNATJSUTSISTEHRAERANDINAGORMEO ME!
[17:50] Soy Un Perdedor: IOMALDFATALKING TOADOU!Y!
[17:51] Soy Un Perdedor: WOATSASIsTALINMERTHERE ISA APERTY INA My MOIUTHEASNDEVRYONEADS RIOANVOTED!

I did it for the lulz

2006-10-02T13:40:11Z

Who says I don't have the knack of being ostracized by everyone I meet? Hooray for the long-life milk theory.

i have lost the will to live

2006-10-01T08:52:15Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwEt6doEglA

no

no nononoONONONONOAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

God Schmod, I want my monkey-man!

2006-09-27T09:55:33Z

I've got a theory that channel 10 speeds up animated shows ever so slightly so that you can only tell because the music and sound is at a slightly higher pitch than the original or DVD version. Probably so they can fit in that extra ad break when the show has less than a minute to go. Maybe to make room for the half ad half credit roll when the shows over so they can squeeze in some ads before the ad break after the shows over. And I know I'm the only one who cares, so hey, twenty-three? Oh em gee.

Cassetteboy - Dead Horse

2006-09-26T01:13:10Z

I've decided I need some new friends, so I'm refreshing the recent post list and adding the user at the bottom of the list, every minute for 5 minutes and I'll leave a comment. Because livejournal is all about good times with friends

This can only end well.

five oh

2006-09-24T20:15:02Z

I just had a dream that I was crossing the border between N.S.W. and Victoria, illegally, on a bicycle, and I was speeding, and when I saw a cop car I jumped off my bike and did a runner.

I didn't get away. They never did tell me what I was in trouble for.

Polly wolly woop chunga woo

2006-09-21T09:32:23Z

The media circus surrounding Iwrin continues and has already dragged his 8-year old kid into it and will continue to for weeks and the wife was smart and held out for the extra millions and millions for the exclusive interview she would get from the American networks than she would from the Australian ones! Welcome to my world!

Also stuff!

omg b&

2006-09-12T07:44:38Z

Oooh, and I bought some kangaroo steaks today. They were cheaper than beef steaks. I haven't had kangaroo since grade 3 so this should be very interesting.

NEW PLAN

2006-09-08T18:20:48Z

1) Bite the bullet and call up Dad and find out if I can stay with him, which may be on the other side of town and pretty much cancel out every (now slim) job opportunity I have on this side of town but will actually give me a place to live and another set of places I can try for jobs for a while

2) If step 1 goes well, confront housemates about the person that came around... well, yesterday now who they were obviously interviewing as a replacement for me without talking about it with me first but having the interview in the backyard so that I could hear everything anyway

3) ~~Confirm suspicions, give them 2 weeks notice to get that person and move out,~~ and play revenge cards I've got up my sleeve in revenge because I'm feeling rather spiteful and not feeling bad about it at all

4) ????

5) PROFIT

Partly achieved, but not in the exact way I imagined it

Strewth!

2006-09-05T07:20:19Z

Okay, okay. Something else to ponder:

Countdown until the exclusive, teary-eyed, bare-all interview with Mrs. Irwin, which channel 7 will pay eight million dollars for.

12 million if they can talk to the kid.

fffffffffffffff

2006-09-01T18:55:51Z

I don't know how many times it's going to be before I get the point, but hey if things stay the way they are I'm more than qualified to be an air recircuitlatoristic FFFFUCKKKKK I SUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

KKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

ashore

2006-08-28T07:37:07Z

I get several of these a day and up until today when one slipped through my spam filter I didn't even read them.

From: Virginia Castaneda <kugr@saharasevilla.org>
To: me
Date: 27-Aug-2006 09:00
Subject: ashore

The writer cant goon forever; sooner or later he must own up and say who did it. In fact, this friend, taken at his own face value, must be regardedas a Poor Nut. He crawls around in the grass picking up clews. I suspected his hand in this from the start.
The question is answered atonce by the Great Detective himself.
Let us see if we can rewrite it, so as to give it that soft andgentle touch of the bed-time story. It issupposed to be too horrible for the children to read. But in this class of literature theword lost is used to cover up a multitude of things.
He would notexplain anything but what the Poor Nut, half crazy withmystification, begged him to do. Hehas got one of those terrible diseases known to fiction as amortal complaint.
The writer cant goon forever; sooner or later he must own up and say who did it.
Because theCops really like Fuzzy and Fuzzy likes the Cops and they both thinkone another real men.
That was the capital of Turkey, wasit not?
Let him feel just as drowsy as ever he likes.
All the rest of it isfilled with battles and crimes, with murder and sudden death. It isa criminal world indeed in which such things as that can happen. Did you nevernote that makers of trousers nowadays stamp their trouser buttonswith their names. Any trained reader when he hears these hacks knows exactly whatthey are to lead up to.
But we arecalled upon to notice that now he has a singularly vacant eye. The womans face as Inspector Higginbottom snapped the handcuffson her wrists was livid with fury. He is cast for the melancholy part that willpresently be called The Body. Only Fuzzy made up his mind that after this he would never, neverspeak to Helpup again.
My friend smiled again, his same inscrutable smile. The building, save for the janitor, who lived inthe basement, was empty. He has an old furcoat with the fur nearly all eaten off of it and so he is calledFuzzy.
But the boy reader never gets it this way.
Yes, one of the checks on his coat had been cached. Let us see if we can rewrite it, so as to give it that soft andgentle touch of the bed-time story. In fact, the more we think of it, the lesssatisfied we are with hanging the Tramp. But it doesnt disturb Jack or his young readers one iota.
In anycase, great reliance is placed on foreign blood as accounting forher. And in their new environment the aspect andcomplexion even of Death for them was altered.
There must be no more horror and blood and violent death.
Often he is presented as a connoisseur in food.
Blankety Blank sat in his office in the drowsy hour of aSaturday afternoon. If you would look, youwill see that it has been freshly walked over by a man with rubberson.
In fact, the more we think of it, the lesssatisfied we are with hanging the Tramp.
If you would look, youwill see that it has been freshly walked over by a man with rubberson.
Only Fuzzy couldnt be QUITE sure that Stocko was asleep! You can hardly hang a man with a vacant eye.

NO REALLY, I'M SICK AND TIRED

2006-08-20T10:48:27Z

OF BEING SICK AND TIRED. To keep this entry even somewhat interesting I'm going to delete every fifth word. Enjoy!

For the last week and half, I've only left my room go to the toilet, shower, eat. With one exception - when tried going to TAFE only to told by the teacher, quote, " home before you infect the rest us with your filthy germs". I guess I've got an excuse, I really do have a terrible, lingering . But I can't believe how I've had it for, and I finally seemed to be over it Thursday/Friday-ish and today my throat once closes up and phlegm starts gushing every opening on my like someone opened the sluices. still refuse to go to a . I hate going to doctors.

So yeah, didn't get mining thing. Slightly angsty that. Slightly angsty about lot of things, actually. felt the need for getting drunk and the day before that I couldn't be bothered getting and I didn't feel like it. that make sense? I sure not.

I think I need or somewhere I can catharsisice. I this shit.

And hey, everyone is doing the cut/image so will too. Hey ho.

"Baaaaah!" says Frank

2006-08-17T11:37:49Z

I can't wait 'til I'm really old. I'll spend all my days and pension cheques in supermarkets and shopping centres, counting out small change in an excruciatingly slow manner, give 50c tips along with a story about how much 50c used to be worth. I'll ride up and down on escelators all day, standing right in the middle until I get to the end, and then I'll stand blocking the top of the walkway while I look around with a confused expression on my face. I'll take a full minute to hobble across a zebra crossing while my grey tracky dacks slowly fall down. When in supermarkets I will block entire aisles with my shopping trolley by leaving it sideways while arguing with my even older friend about which brand of prunes I should buy.

All this inspiration is based on real events from when I tried to do a spot of grocery shopping at about 10am this morning. And I'm only slightly exaggerating on some of those.

Hits from the inbox

2006-08-15T01:52:37Z

Dear xxxxxxx,

Thank you for your recent application for the position of Accelerated Adult Apprenticeships Boilermaker/Welders - 2nd Intake with xxxxxx.

I wish to advise you that unfortunately your application has been unsuccessful. Your details will be kept on our database for future reference should a suitable position become available. Should you wish your details not to be kept, please advise us.

Thank you for your interest in xxxxxx. We wish you every success in your future career endeavours.

Kind regards,

The Recruitment Team

xxxxxx

if i had a dollar for every one of these i've received

i'd

I'm sick and tired

2006-08-14T02:39:41Z

of being sick and tired

(12:35:44) Melanie: jesuschristonabikeI'msofuckingtired
(12:36:02) Spacko: me too
(12:36:18) Spacko: this morning i coughed up something that looked like escargot
(12:36:46) Melanie: did you eat it again with a little bit of garlic butter?
(12:37:12) Spacko: thats
(12:37:15) Spacko: beautiful
(12:37:23) Spacko: CHATLOG POSTED

Leg leg leg leg leg leg leg leg

2006-08-10T11:49:38Z

You know how you find dead spiders around the house, and they're always on their back with their legs curled up and back in the same position, no matter what kind of spider it is?

About a week ago I was on the toilet taking a dump, and there was a smallish Huntsman in front of me. It had the look of a spider about to die, sitting upright but a couple of legs cocked back in what looked like an uncomfortable position. The next day, it was on it's back. How do they get like that? Do they spasm at the moment of death and flip violently over onto their backs, intense waves of pain washing over them as they take their final breath? Do their legs twitch and move around in a vain effort to mindlessly escape the hopeless situation they're in, like a cockroach that's been sprayed with insect spray? Since I never spray spiders and love how they kill everything else that annoys or creeps me out, I can only assume they die of starvation or other natural causes. Do they start wigging out at the moment of death and try to eat their own legs? Or do they sit for a while, realising that death is approaching, and then sigh and think to themselves "well, this is it, better get comfortable" and slowly turn over onto their backs, with their legs comfortably cocked up?

Will mankind ever know? In the end, aren't we all just cocking eight legs up in a vain attempt to convey our feelings of despair and hopelessness to the universe? Why am I asking you?

Oooh, I forgot to try this:

FUCKBEANSFUCKBEANS
FUCKBEANS
FUCKBEANS
FUCKBEANS
FUCKBEANS
FUCKBEANS
FUCKBEANS

IT WORKS